Aiyoh Why They Scold Bad Words

GST 101 with Cheeky and Goopal

Hi guys, as you all know by now, our “venerable” Prime Minister has just announced an increase in GST from the existing 5% to WHOA-HO 7% in parliament yesterday. Although our Prime Minister was trying his darnest to disguise project this hike as a compassionate effort to help the poor aka leeches, it seems that certain segment of our population especially the “non-elite ones” are still clueless on how this could possibly help the leeches. To help clear the confusion, Cheeky shall proceed to enlighten our dear readers with special appearance by Goopal, Cheeky Times resident goon. Hello Goopal.

Ok to begin with, just what the fuck is GST?

GST actually stands for Goods and Services Tax.
The GST is a tax on the supply of most goods and services in Singapore.
As a consumer, you pay the GST on all taxable goods and services, except zero-rated and exempt goods and services.

Who the fuck is Susie?

Yes. Including Susie for service rendered.

Yes . . . Mary too.

Jeezus. Yes all of them ! Which mean you have to pay 2% more on top of what you have been normally paying. Get it asshole?

Chao cheebye indeed. Now you people may be asking, “how the hell does raising the GST helps the leeches?”
Well, the gahmen works on this assumption that it’s usuallly the rich that splurge more and by using this materialistic weakness of theirs, the gahmen is able to extract more largess for their coffers which in turn may or may not be used to assist the leeches. At this point of time you might be shaking your head and wagging a finger at me (though no fault of mine) because the assumption just doesn’t make sense at all. I can forgive you for that.

Simply because GST cuts across all spectrum of goods and services including basic necessities like ehm . . . food, housing, education and etc. So to tell it like the leeches have no need for all these is akin to telling Goopal there’s no need for sex. Isn’t that right Goopal?

Hah, but but my friend, the plot actually works like these. Lets imagine Goopal as one of those poor sickening leeches who are the intended recipients of this whole campaign.

When Goopal goes to buy his basic necessities like eh condoms, he’s going to be subjected to that 7% GST like everyone else since the cashier is not blessed with the gift of spotting a leech. So instead of paying say $1 per condom, he has to pay $1.07.

Now before you are tempted to cut in and shout” HOW THE FUCKING CHEEBYE DOES THIS HELP THE LEECHES!!!??? Lets just say that the extra 7 cents will not only goes into contributing to the bonuses of our ministers, some of it will actually goes into a collective fund which will in turn be reimburse to Goopal through an aid package designed to help leeches like him. So instead of losing 7 cents, Goopal might find himself richer by 8 cents, 9 cents or more.

But of course the above is just a vague example to illustrate how the GST could really be utilised to help the leeches. Whether the scheme could really fufil these lofy promises remains to be seen.