Eddy and his Boon Lay Gal

June 27, 2005 at 5:04 am 28 comments

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Like all love stories, it usually start with a horny guy. This one is no exception, more so when our protagonist is such a loser.

All his life, our dear Eddy has came into close physical contacts with only 2 women. His mom and his Miss piggy stuffed toy that he pestered his mom to buy when he was 2 years old. Yes I know, his horniness started from a very young age. So how on earth did he manage to snag a girl of such calibre and pedigree like Boon Lay gal? Frankly speaking, this narrator has no idea. But then, all love stories make no sense.

The chance meeting between Bon Lay gal and Eddy Neo took place at NTU campus during one memorable Tuesday afternoon. To be more specific, at Canteen B during one memorable Tuesday afternoon. Our dear Eddy was, as usual standing in line at his favourite fishball noodle stall when he caught a glimpse of a fresh face, doe eyed girl, with dyed brown hair tie up in a pony tail, decked in pink spaghetti top and khaki shorts (the label read Giordano) standing by the zhi char stall. She was Boon Lay gal.

Eddy Neo: Actually she was standing by the chicken rice stall.

Is it?

Eddy Neo: Yah.

Paiseh, but please don’t interrupt the narrator again. And so our Boon Lay girl was standing by the chicken rice stall when our dear Eddy caught sight of her. He was simply captivated.

Eddy Neo: It was love at first sight.

Whatever. Our dear Eddy spent the next 25 minutes stealing a peek every few seconds in between gulping down his meal. You should have seen his face, it was pathetic. Sauce was smeared all over his face, specs fogged with steam and a drool slowly forming at the corner of his mouth. Our dear Eddy at that point of time was seriously contemplating whether to approach her. But fortunately, it was all over before you knew it. Boon Lay gal simply walked off after finishing her lunch. Talk about anti-climax. Duh. But deep down, our dear Eddy knew he just has to get to know the gal on a deeper level (no sexual pun intended)

We all know actions speak way louder than words and one damn thing about losers is that fantasizing and talking are all they are good at. They simply lack the balls to chase after the girls of their dreams. Eddy knew this and had the good sense to enlist the help of a special person to help him gained the courage he needed from increasing the size of his balls. That person is none other than Kenny Sia.

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Kenny Sia: Hi I’m Kenny. The “ Man with the biggest balls in Kuching”

Pretty bold statement. Although he will have to retract that claim if ever Cheeky was to move to Kuching. But chill Kenny, Cheeky is perfectly happy staying in Singapore, so you get to keep that title . . . . . for now. Hur hur.

Upon meeting Eddy and examining his testicles, Kenny got a big shock.

Kenny Sia: I can’t locate it. It…it…it’s not there.

What a dilemma. How do you increase the size of something when it’s not even there?

Kenny Sia: Beats me?

He’s kidding of course. He’s not called “The man with the biggest balls in Kuching” for nothing. Please tell our readers you are kidding.

Kenny Sia: I’m kidding.

That’s right. It may seem an impossible task to create something out of nothing but miracles do happen, especially in a love story. Through a series of acupunctures, traditional herbal tonics and a carefully followed diet plan, Kenny finally helped our dear Eddy gradually developed a pair of round thingy between his thighs.

Kenny Sia: It’s not big. That’s for sure. But at least he has something dangling there.

With new found balls came new found courage and thus began a journey that our dear Eddy will embarked on, a journey he will never regret, to capture the heart of his Boon Lay gal.

-To be continue, this time I promise-

P.S. Cheeky is not very happy with Mr Kenny Sia. How dare he crossed over from the causeway and hoodwinked all the chicks here. Nabeh. Who does he thinks he is. Let me tell ya something Kenny boy, all the hot chicks you have met here, stay here on this side of the border, ya hear me Kenny boy. Cheeky would have challenged you to a fight, but he is letting you go this time round, not because your biceps are twice the size of his, it’s just that Cheeky is nursing a broken toe nail. You are one lucky fellow.

 

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28 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Zaon  |  June 27, 2005 at 6:30 am

    YAh .. me first … wahaha… nice one cheeky … waited so long for yr updates man … ncie job …

    Reply
  • 2. TYJ  |  June 27, 2005 at 6:31 am

    If only you could update your blog more often. I’m sure that’s the only complaint you get from your blogders. Your entries are simply hilarious! Love them!

    Please, please, please…. update more often…..

    Reply
  • 3. curious george  |  June 27, 2005 at 6:52 am

    aiyo..wait until neck damn long liao leh…
    Please la..broken toe nail only..very serious meh?? LOL

    Reply
  • 4. Ah 9  |  June 27, 2005 at 8:03 am

    Hehehehehehee

    Reply
  • 5. Anonymous  |  June 27, 2005 at 8:45 am

    songz. look forward to flaming blog posts btw cheeky and kenny. confirm ho seh one.

    Reply
  • 6. K-e-n-n-e-t-h  |  June 27, 2005 at 10:43 am

    get jealous of kenny sia for what?

    Reply
  • 7. juanz  |  June 27, 2005 at 6:31 pm

    I’ve been waiting for this post!haha. Good work as usual~

    Update soon!!!!! please!!!!!

    Btw, has been reading your blog for quite some time. You are indeed a cheeky fellow~haha~

    Reply
  • 8. The Angry Little Girl  |  June 28, 2005 at 4:13 am

    wah lao, I miss and love your entries man.

    Reply
  • 9. Anonymous  |  June 28, 2005 at 6:42 am

    update faster leh.i everyday wait wait await wait so long dan got

    -Akira

    Reply
  • 10. ARTKRUelGER  |  June 28, 2005 at 7:45 am

    hey… the pic of Eddy look very DIY woh~ issit Cheeky in person?

    Reply
  • 11. Yours starrily  |  June 29, 2005 at 9:34 am

    LOL.. you’re really affected by Kenny eh? Fancy blogging at 5.04am to challenge him.. haha.. Amusing entry, as always.

    Reply
  • 12. Anna  |  June 29, 2005 at 10:23 am

    Muahahaha, I like this. I’m looking forward to the battle between Cheeky and Kenny. C’mon, cheeky, tune up all your charms, I’m sure you’ll keep all those girls here, and attract all those girls across the causeway!

    Reply
  • 13. eXpro  |  June 30, 2005 at 1:03 am

    wah cheeky, toenail also broken like mine arh. anyway, get well soon and update more often!

    Reply
  • 14. LPF  |  June 30, 2005 at 1:24 am

    The “f5” key has just conked out.

    And it’s all because of you Cheeky. Grrr

    Reply
  • 15. anne  |  June 30, 2005 at 10:12 am

    wha,you finally blogged man. what took you so long?? anyway nice one haha!

    Reply
  • 16. lili  |  June 30, 2005 at 11:05 pm

    HAHAHA i think i’m more interested in the fight between cheeky and kenny rather than eddy’s love story. lol not that i’m not interested in latter, but those red words really cracked me up. lol

    Reply
  • 17. Claris  |  July 2, 2005 at 3:11 am

    aiyo.. broken toe nail only ma. still can fight one!

    Reply
  • 18. simplestar  |  July 2, 2005 at 4:23 am

    hey, u’r back. i’ve been waiting and this is one funny post, like all the others.

    u bet i’ll be back for more.

    Reply
  • 19. Bubblemunche  |  July 3, 2005 at 6:17 am

    *2 Thumbs up*

    DAMN BLOODY GOOD :D!!!!

    Eh, having said that, I shan’t comment about the authenticity of Cheeky’s tale. Especially the part about the size of my balls. Nabeh!

    :D

    Reply
  • 20. ah fatt's fan  |  July 3, 2005 at 6:54 pm

    We miss you, Bubblemunche!

    Reply
  • 21. Kenny Sia  |  July 4, 2005 at 2:03 am

    Wait till your broken toe nail heals, then come talk to me again.

    I’ll kiap your face between my two testicles ok?!

    Reply
  • 22. ah fatt's fan  |  July 4, 2005 at 6:11 pm

    Did Kenny managed to meet up with Bubblemunche and Cheeky during his recent visit to Singapore? I didn’t read their existence in his blog though…. Or was Kenny too busy entertaining The Princess??

    Reply
  • 23. Kenny Sia  |  July 4, 2005 at 8:26 pm

    Nope. Didn’t meet up with them. Too busy entertaining the princess.

    Reply
  • 24. Claris  |  July 5, 2005 at 5:47 am

    Bubblemunche!!! Why can’t you blog anymore? Sob. I miss your cheeky posts.

    Reply
  • 25. ah fatt's fan  |  July 5, 2005 at 6:31 pm

    Ah…. i would have guessed so, Kenny. The karaoke singing must had drained you of all your energy. But i sincerely hope you can work together with Cheeky and Bubblemunche. You are the funniest blogger in Malaysia and Cheeky and Bubblemunche in Singapore. Looking towards the day when the three of you can script a movie together. (Cheeky already has some scripting experience right?)

    Reply
  • 26. ah Boi  |  July 6, 2005 at 11:54 pm

    hahaha.
    Oh yar…
    took such a long time to update man!!!

    Reply
  • 27. cheeky  |  July 11, 2005 at 4:34 am

    lpf: how come?
    artkruelger: the person in the picture is really eddy neo. not me.
    bubblemunche: how’s your new balls serving you? Haha
    Keny sia: your balls better be big cos my face is damn huge.
    claris: cannot. still pain.
    ah fatt: haha, dun think so.

    Reply
  • 28. bleuchiz  |  July 14, 2005 at 8:45 am

    leave it short and sweet

    ITS ABOUT TIME!–>

    Reply

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