Interview with Taufik and Sylvester

It has been a few months since the Singapore Idol finale. Taufik Batisah and Sylvester Sim had captured the imagination of Singaporean of all races and religions with their earnest performances on stage. Today, our showbiz reporter Kate reunite the 2 idols again and attempts to ask some thought provoking questions with regards to their new found fame, albums and their future plans.

Kate: Welcome guys. First and foremost, thanks for coming despite your very hectic schedule.
Taufik: Glad you know I have a hectic schedule. Lets get on with the questioning and not waste anymore of my precious time.
Sylvester: Wah, Taufik so busy hor. Where you going later? Suria AGAIN hah?
Sly chuckles

Taufik: Are you implying you have a tighter schedule than me?
Sly: No lah, only channel 8 and channel U loh, maybe also a few mandarin radio stations later in the afternoon loh. Not very busy lah.
Taufik: For your info, I’m not going Suria. I have a few photo shoots and recording later.
Sly: Whatever loh.
Kate: Guys guys, lets not squabble over petty issue. I’m sure both of you are equally busy. Ok Taufik, since you are the Singapore Idol, I’m going to start with you.
Taufik: Shoot away.
Kate: Your first album has shifted more than 5000 copies in Singapore. A rare feat for a local artiste
Sly: My one shifted 6000 already.
Taufik: Hey, what’s your problem cock face?
Sly: Nothing cunt face.
Kate: Please guys, remember your image as idols.
Taufik: He started it.
Sly: Did not.
Taufik: Did too.
Sly: Did not.
Taufik: Did too.
Kate: Guys, stop it. Turn and look at me.
Both turn and look at Kate.

Sly: wah chio bu.
Kate: Eh… thanks. Can we just carry on with no further interruptions? Thanks. Now Taufik, back to the earlier question. How does it feel to see your album doing so well, outselling even Dick Lee’s.
Taufik: Kate, please for the love of god, DO NOT, I say again, DO NOT compare Taufik Batisah with that dick. We cater to 2 different markets. His targeted demographic groups are gays and old follies. Mine is the cool, hip and sophisticated group. Obviously I’m delighted that the album did so well, but that is to be expected from any talented singer.
Sly: Oh please.
Taufik: In fact, to demonstrate my singing prowess, I’m going to do a rendition of one of my fav songs, “I Fly” right here, right now.
Sly: Fly already don’t come back hor.
Taufik: agitated and irritated) Just what the fuck do you want? You want a piece of me, come and get it, you fucking chao Ah Beng.
Sly: Oh spoiling for a fight is it? Bring it on asshole.
Sly and Taufik try to fight it out but they are quickly restrain by their respective minders. Both sides take a few minutes to settle down.

Kate: Now lets ask Sylvester a few questions for a change. There was a bit of hoo-hah over your little marriage act with Maia. Was it a publicity stunt? Care to fill us in on this incident?
Sly: My star is shining damn bloody bright. I don’t need to pull any stunts to gain publicity.
Taufik: No. But you need to pull something else.
Sly: What!?
Taufik: A hood to cover your fugly face.
Sly: Nabeh cheebye.
Sly get up and attempts a cheap shot at Taufik but is stop again by his minder.
Kate: Whoa whoa cool it guys. Both of you are stars in your own making. Lets kiss and make up shall we.
Taufik: No thanks. His gargantuan lips scare me
Sly: Enough hor cheebye. A person has a limit to his patience one hor.
Taufik: I know, but a monkey don’t have mah.
Sly gets up again and throws a few punches at Taufik. Both entangle, fall and roll on the floor. Minders quickly separate the two idols.

Sly: (puffing and trying to reassure his minder he’s fine) I’m cool . . . I’m cool.
Sly sprung up from his seat to attack Taufik again. It takes another couple of minutes before the minders get both idols in their seats again.

Kate: Ok Sylvester, care to elaborate on the Maia issue.
Sly: It was a spur of the moment decision. Both of us thought over it later and realized it was a stupid mistake. A hasty mistake. I like to take this chance to apologize to all my fans who idolize me. Your prince charming will never do anything like that again.
Both Taufik and his minder fake a puke.
Kate: Now Taufik, coming back to your album. Some critics have labeled your album as infantile. What is your view?
Taufik: Who the fuck said that?
Kate: Eh . . . not sure. Some ang moh I think.
Taufik: Well let me tell that ang moh something. I put in an awful lot of sweat and efforts in this album and I’m damn proud of every song in it. If you want to listen to something mature, go ask your mom to nag at you.
Sly: You know, I listen to some of the songs in your album. They are indeed really childish.
Taufik: Is not.
Sly: Is too.
Taufik: IS NOT.
Sly: IS TOO.
Taufik poke his fingers into Sly’s eyes.
Sly: Arggggghhh. Cheebye! My eyes! My eyes!
Sly feels around and manage to locate Taufik. He grabs his balls and gives it a few good squeezes.
Taufik: Wooooooooooooo
More interception by the minders before both idols slump into their seats.

Kate: Taufik, you ok?
Taufik: I’m fine
Kate: My next question concern a rumour. I don’t know where this rumour arises from, but I hope you can clarify it. There seems to be reports saying that Olinda Cho, your fellow Singapore Idol finalist has the hots for you.
Taufik: Hello Kate, I just have my breakfast leh.
Minder whispers something to him.
Taufik: Sorry. What I mean is me and Olinda are very good friends. But there’s no way it will go beyond friendship. She knows it and I know it. And it has nothing to do with her physique. Absolutely nothing to do with it.
Sly: sarcastically) Like real.
Kate: Back to you Sly. You model your image as a rocker. Do you think there’s any possibility that there’s any chance you will go into other genres as far as music is concerned?
Sly: Never. You can take away my jacket, my sunglasses and even my underwear which I bought from the market, but you can never take away the “rock” in me.
Taufik: Didn’t know you kena gallstones.
Sly stare at Taufik who stare right back.
Kate: One last question for both of you before we wrap up this interview. Do you fear your popularity will fade once the next idol comes along?
Both laugh loudly to emphasize the ludicrous nature of the question.
Sly: Of course not. You want to know why? Because Sylvester Sim is going regional baby. Taiwan, Malaysia, Indonesia, all I hoot ka liao. Heheheh.
Taufik: I’m not too fazed by it. I’m confident my fans will stay with me for the long haul regardless of how many idols they put out there, because there is, I repeat, there is, only one Taufik Batisah.
Kate: Thanks once again gentlemen for your precious time.