Interview with Taufik and Sylvester

May 3, 2005 at 4:16 am 42 comments

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It has been a few months since the Singapore Idol finale. Taufik Batisah and Sylvester Sim had captured the imagination of Singaporean of all races and religions with their earnest performances on stage. Today, our showbiz reporter Kate reunite the 2 idols again and attempts to ask some thought provoking questions with regards to their new found fame, albums and their future plans.

Kate: Welcome guys. First and foremost, thanks for coming despite your very hectic schedule.
Taufik: Glad you know I have a hectic schedule. Lets get on with the questioning and not waste anymore of my precious time.
Sylvester: Wah, Taufik so busy hor. Where you going later? Suria AGAIN hah?
Sly chuckles

Taufik: Are you implying you have a tighter schedule than me?
Sly: No lah, only channel 8 and channel U loh, maybe also a few mandarin radio stations later in the afternoon loh. Not very busy lah.
Taufik: For your info, I’m not going Suria. I have a few photo shoots and recording later.
Sly: Whatever loh.
Kate: Guys guys, lets not squabble over petty issue. I’m sure both of you are equally busy. Ok Taufik, since you are the Singapore Idol, I’m going to start with you.
Taufik: Shoot away.
Kate: Your first album has shifted more than 5000 copies in Singapore. A rare feat for a local artiste
Sly: My one shifted 6000 already.
Taufik: Hey, what’s your problem cock face?
Sly: Nothing cunt face.
Kate: Please guys, remember your image as idols.
Taufik: He started it.
Sly: Did not.
Taufik: Did too.
Sly: Did not.
Taufik: Did too.
Kate: Guys, stop it. Turn and look at me.
Both turn and look at Kate.

Sly: wah chio bu.
Kate: Eh… thanks. Can we just carry on with no further interruptions? Thanks. Now Taufik, back to the earlier question. How does it feel to see your album doing so well, outselling even Dick Lee’s.
Taufik: Kate, please for the love of god, DO NOT, I say again, DO NOT compare Taufik Batisah with that dick. We cater to 2 different markets. His targeted demographic groups are gays and old follies. Mine is the cool, hip and sophisticated group. Obviously I’m delighted that the album did so well, but that is to be expected from any talented singer.
Sly: Oh please.
Taufik: In fact, to demonstrate my singing prowess, I’m going to do a rendition of one of my fav songs, “I Fly” right here, right now.
Sly: Fly already don’t come back hor.
Taufik: agitated and irritated) Just what the fuck do you want? You want a piece of me, come and get it, you fucking chao Ah Beng.
Sly: Oh spoiling for a fight is it? Bring it on asshole.
Sly and Taufik try to fight it out but they are quickly restrain by their respective minders. Both sides take a few minutes to settle down.

Kate: Now lets ask Sylvester a few questions for a change. There was a bit of hoo-hah over your little marriage act with Maia. Was it a publicity stunt? Care to fill us in on this incident?
Sly: My star is shining damn bloody bright. I don’t need to pull any stunts to gain publicity.
Taufik: No. But you need to pull something else.
Sly: What!?
Taufik: A hood to cover your fugly face.
Sly: Nabeh cheebye.
Sly get up and attempts a cheap shot at Taufik but is stop again by his minder.
Kate: Whoa whoa cool it guys. Both of you are stars in your own making. Lets kiss and make up shall we.
Taufik: No thanks. His gargantuan lips scare me
Sly: Enough hor cheebye. A person has a limit to his patience one hor.
Taufik: I know, but a monkey don’t have mah.
Sly gets up again and throws a few punches at Taufik. Both entangle, fall and roll on the floor. Minders quickly separate the two idols.

Sly: (puffing and trying to reassure his minder he’s fine) I’m cool . . . I’m cool.
Sly sprung up from his seat to attack Taufik again. It takes another couple of minutes before the minders get both idols in their seats again.

Kate: Ok Sylvester, care to elaborate on the Maia issue.
Sly: It was a spur of the moment decision. Both of us thought over it later and realized it was a stupid mistake. A hasty mistake. I like to take this chance to apologize to all my fans who idolize me. Your prince charming will never do anything like that again.
Both Taufik and his minder fake a puke.
Kate: Now Taufik, coming back to your album. Some critics have labeled your album as infantile. What is your view?
Taufik: Who the fuck said that?
Kate: Eh . . . not sure. Some ang moh I think.
Taufik: Well let me tell that ang moh something. I put in an awful lot of sweat and efforts in this album and I’m damn proud of every song in it. If you want to listen to something mature, go ask your mom to nag at you.
Sly: You know, I listen to some of the songs in your album. They are indeed really childish.
Taufik: Is not.
Sly: Is too.
Taufik: IS NOT.
Sly: IS TOO.
Taufik poke his fingers into Sly’s eyes.
Sly: Arggggghhh. Cheebye! My eyes! My eyes!
Sly feels around and manage to locate Taufik. He grabs his balls and gives it a few good squeezes.
Taufik: Wooooooooooooo
More interception by the minders before both idols slump into their seats.

Kate: Taufik, you ok?
Taufik: I’m fine
Kate: My next question concern a rumour. I don’t know where this rumour arises from, but I hope you can clarify it. There seems to be reports saying that Olinda Cho, your fellow Singapore Idol finalist has the hots for you.
Taufik: Hello Kate, I just have my breakfast leh.
Minder whispers something to him.
Taufik: Sorry. What I mean is me and Olinda are very good friends. But there’s no way it will go beyond friendship. She knows it and I know it. And it has nothing to do with her physique. Absolutely nothing to do with it.
Sly: sarcastically) Like real.
Kate: Back to you Sly. You model your image as a rocker. Do you think there’s any possibility that there’s any chance you will go into other genres as far as music is concerned?
Sly: Never. You can take away my jacket, my sunglasses and even my underwear which I bought from the market, but you can never take away the “rock” in me.
Taufik: Didn’t know you kena gallstones.
Sly stare at Taufik who stare right back.
Kate: One last question for both of you before we wrap up this interview. Do you fear your popularity will fade once the next idol comes along?
Both laugh loudly to emphasize the ludicrous nature of the question.
Sly: Of course not. You want to know why? Because Sylvester Sim is going regional baby. Taiwan, Malaysia, Indonesia, all I hoot ka liao. Heheheh.
Taufik: I’m not too fazed by it. I’m confident my fans will stay with me for the long haul regardless of how many idols they put out there, because there is, I repeat, there is, only one Taufik Batisah.
Kate: Thanks once again gentlemen for your precious time.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Interesting Blogs from up north Another edition of “Wake Up Your Fucking Ideas Singapore”

42 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anonymous  |  May 3, 2005 at 7:24 am

    Bar-nie:

    Woo? im the first? yes! hahaha!

    ARGH. i am soooo ANTI SINGAPORE IDOL!!!!

    Great blogggg dude! hahaahahah!

    Reply
  • 2. FF  |  May 3, 2005 at 7:56 am

    I love Sly, I love Sly!

    Reply
  • 3. Fat Fingers  |  May 3, 2005 at 8:10 am

    hahaha yay Cheeky is back!
    That was really good!
    I think Kate should interview Olinda amd the rest of the Singapore Idol wannabes. hehehe Remember to ask Olinda if the rumours about her and Michelle Chong are true hehehe :D

    Reply
  • 4. apple talks  |  May 3, 2005 at 8:13 am

    haha, both of them keep fighting with each other, nice post

    Reply
  • 5. Jared  |  May 3, 2005 at 8:33 am

    haha.. not bad.. and if memory serve me well.. i really enjoyed the “donating money to charity” and “jogging with commandos”.. Those two were hilarious.

    Reply
  • 6. Ah 9  |  May 3, 2005 at 8:50 am

    im sure if those two blog…they would wanna add u to their links…ehehehhehehehehehe =D

    Reply
  • 7. suspiciousbastard  |  May 3, 2005 at 5:04 pm

    Hahahaha! That’s great. I hate Singapore/American/World Idol.

    Reply
  • 8. ah fatt's fan  |  May 3, 2005 at 6:10 pm

    This blog piece is worth the wait! Funny as ever. Anyway this interview reminded me that Cowboy Celeb had done some interviews himself with some of our well-known bloggers like Mr Brown. Wonder if Kate can also interview them in the most typical “Kate’s style”.

    Reply
  • 9. dawn  |  May 3, 2005 at 8:14 pm

    why does Sly looks so squashed!!!

    My poor sly.

    He does haf nice juicy lips tho.

    LOL*

    Haha..great post! ^^

    Reply
  • 10. Lili  |  May 3, 2005 at 10:12 pm

    hahaha! this is so funny!! loves it when you do interviews like this. damn farny sia!

    now that bubblemunche is gone, =( you’re the only one that can brighten up my day with blog posts. =)

    Reply
  • 11. stoolie  |  May 3, 2005 at 10:43 pm

    HAHAHAHAHA infantile ^_^

    Reply
  • 12. Bobby K  |  May 3, 2005 at 11:35 pm

    I don’t know much about Singapore Idol but this reads like the Singapore version of the Jerry Springer show.

    Just started reading Cheeky’s blog and I love it!

    Reply
  • 13. Almonds&Diamonds  |  May 4, 2005 at 12:43 am

    Hee..I don’t like both of them….But i like Olinda..Do something about Olinda?

    Reply
  • 14. alexis  |  May 4, 2005 at 4:21 am

    lol it seemed like every few sentences they get together and fight around and had to be separated like little kids by their minders. hehe.

    Reply
  • 15. Claris  |  May 4, 2005 at 7:38 am

    Finally! One of your hilarious interviews! Maybe you can feature Olinda and Maia in the next round. :)

    Reply
  • 16. Li An  |  May 4, 2005 at 8:43 am

    Oh man.. you just have to give your two cents worth regarding the “infantile” issue, didn’t you? Heehee.

    Funny post lah, but got it’s inconsistency leh… how come Sylvester suddenly got spout long chains of cheem cheem english one?!

    Reply
  • 17. Daniel  |  May 4, 2005 at 10:48 am

    good stuff man!

    Reply
  • 18. Kai  |  May 5, 2005 at 12:32 am

    ur blog is totally cool and humourous man. try to update as much as u can yeah.

    Reply
  • 19. pea  |  May 5, 2005 at 4:04 am

    i think i’m more in love with you and your satire now :)

    Reply
  • 20. Anonymous  |  May 5, 2005 at 7:30 am

    CHEEKY BABY, ARE YOU SINGLE AND IF SO, MAY I MARRY YOUR HOKKIEN FUNNY ASS?

    ooh…

    Reply
  • 21. Anonymous  |  May 5, 2005 at 8:37 am

    Taufik and Sly are “COCKS”

    COOL ONE cheeky..
    u shld be the idol

    Reply
  • 22. becca  |  May 5, 2005 at 8:50 am

    Hahaha, good old cheeky is back! But does Taufik know Olinda is having a slimming endorsement?

    Reply
  • 23. ter  |  May 5, 2005 at 9:21 am

    HI.. Got thru ur blog thru one of my friends blog.. GREAT ONE.. I love the interview…

    Reply
  • 24. a.x+(1-a).y \in S; for all x, y \in S; a \in [0,1]  |  May 5, 2005 at 6:08 pm

    you’re gona get sued big time baby…. that is if they know how to use the internet…. and if……

    Reply
  • 25. nigel  |  May 6, 2005 at 7:10 am

    great blog! hope more to come. really a stress reliever.

    Reply
  • 26. ah Boi  |  May 6, 2005 at 9:07 pm

    wicked!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wahahahahahah

    Reply
  • 27. So Angeline  |  May 7, 2005 at 7:44 am

    I love Sg idoL but I love this blog entry even more. Thigh-slapping hilarious~

    More, pls! (^^)v

    Reply
  • 28. Anonymous  |  May 7, 2005 at 9:28 am

    taufik and olinda? hahaha, please. olinda and michelle chong more likely lah

    Reply
  • 29. gRL6tEeN  |  May 7, 2005 at 7:11 pm

    hEy
    aRE yOU suRe yOU haD thIS inTerviEW wiTH boTH taUFiK anD sLY?
    iT doEsNt sEEm riGhT thOUgh.
    iM suRE boTh taUfiK anD sLy woNT dO suCh thINgs iN aN intERviEW.
    iS thIS foR reaL?
    hAiX.
    uNbeLievAbLe.

    Reply
  • 30. Daniel  |  May 8, 2005 at 2:23 am

    grl6teen:

    R u SuRe YoU aRe NoT StEwPiD????

    Reply
  • 31. Mr Moron  |  May 8, 2005 at 7:39 pm

    Daniel, you crack me up!

    It’s posts like that which convinces me that groupies of boybands/teenyboppers are really bimbotic.

    Perhaps Cheeky you should post more on boybands or Singapore Idol or African/Indian/timbuktoo Idol ..whatever… to elicit more comments like that! I want to see the stupidity of those teenybopper groupies… or perhaps, their rare spark of intelligence.

    Reply
  • 32. Anonymous  |  May 10, 2005 at 12:28 am

    ur blog is the lamest i have ever seen! talk about dum.

    Reply
  • 33. Anonymous  |  May 10, 2005 at 12:29 am

    stupid blog

    Reply
  • 34. Anonymous  |  May 11, 2005 at 1:15 pm

    http://npst1988.blogspot.com/

    go slap this shameless person!

    Reply
  • 35. Raz  |  May 13, 2005 at 2:58 am

    Alamak… not all bloggers who love the Idols are dumb wits la. Look at mine. Eh, that’s a blog also you know. Hur hur hur…

    Taufik do use the Internet. And I am half minded to put it up on the site. Funny shit, really good piece of writing, but think the tenny-boopers will come flooding here sprouting nonsense.

    Should I? Should I not?

    Reply
  • 36. thecowflew  |  May 16, 2005 at 9:49 am

    damn funny.
    i love ur blog!

    Reply
  • 37. Anonymous  |  July 15, 2005 at 8:56 pm

    Taufik and Surya……hahahaha……
    One more glimpse of his face and a dose of his infantile whinning voice…..I will puke!
    Love your blogg man! Give us more.

    Reply
  • 38. Mrs Reeves  |  July 16, 2005 at 9:44 pm

    lol… i laugh til siao sia… lol! i dun like SI also… damn lame show… stupid singers… hahaha………. very good sia…

    Reply
  • 39. Nick  |  August 11, 2005 at 11:51 pm

    It sucks at all times! ! !

    Reply
  • 40. D3smond  |  August 17, 2005 at 1:30 am

    Cool blog dude! nice post!

    Reply
  • 41. Anonymous  |  December 1, 2005 at 10:12 am

    FARK ARH!! NABEH!! I LOVE SINGAPORE IDOL OK!! I GO REPORT ARH.. U MAKE THIS KIND OF BLOG!! I DUN CARE I WILL REPORT.. HOW RUDE!! ITS NOT FUNNY OK!!

    Reply
  • 42. Anonymous  |  December 7, 2005 at 3:23 am

    wa. no need so serious la anonymous. i love both taufik and sly but i love this interview! hahahah it’s damn funny. =D–>

    Reply

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