Pop Quiz (inspired by Sean Condon)

April 12, 2005 at 3:27 am 31 comments

“Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?” by Bruce Springsteen
No it doesn’t. The bus will go round Yishun new town before ending at Woodlands bus interchange. And Bruce, we don’t named our streets after numbers. We have more imagination than that. We named them after dead people.

“Do You Sleep?” by Lisa Loeb
Yes I do. I also eat and shit.

“Does Your Chewing-Gum Lose Its Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight?” by Lonnie Donegan
You’ll have to ask our Minister Mentor.

“How Deep Is Your Love?” by The Bee Gees
I’m not trying to sound boastful here, but my love can go pretty deep. At least deeper than the three of you combined.

“How Do I Live” by Trisha Yearwood
Try inhaling and exhaling.

“Where Have All The Flowers Gone?” by Pete Seeger
Wilted. Dead. What do you expect with a weather like ours? Goodness.

“Who Let the Dogs Out?” by the Baha Men
Must be those families from Everitt Road at Joo Chiat. Their animosities are running so deep, they are unleashing their hounds on each other. We are living in a sick world I tell ya.

“What Does The Pussy Cat Mean When She Says ‘Meow’?” by Margaret Young
You have to be specific. Is it a ‘high’ meow or a ‘low’ meow. If it is a ‘high’ meow, the cat is most likely in heat and getting ready for some action. If it is a ‘low’ meow, it just mean the cat is hungry and need to be fed. If the meow is somewhere between ‘high’ and ‘low’, this imply the cat want to mate and be fed at the same time. When this happen, put on the sharpest heels you can find and give the stupid cat a mean kick up its puny ass. No one, not even cats, deserve the best of both worlds.

“Who Killed Bambi?” by The Sex Pistols
It’s Gopal from Mutu’s Curry. He told me their restaurant ran out of meat. Yeah right. Don’t worry, I have already informed the SPCA. They will deal with those scums.

“Will You Be There” by Michael Jackson
I doubt so. As much as I admire your slick dance moves, I really can’t find the time to fly half way round the globe to attend your trial. It’s too much of a hassle. And try not to put too much make up, you’ll just gross out the jury.

“Are You Lonesome Tonight?” by Elvis Presley
Not really. I’m pretty occupied most nights. When I reach home every eveing, I will tuck into my dinner, have a quick shower and proceed to check my email and read some blogs. After that, I will play Winning Eleven for a few hours and if time permit, catch a few reruns of “Days of our Lives” on TV. As you can see, I’m a pretty happening chap.

“What Are You Doing Sunday?” by Tony Orlando
Chiong Geylang. No lah just kidding. Probably stay home all day reading a book.

“How is Julie?” by The Lettermen
Not bad. She started a business a few year ago mass producing biscuits. Earning buckets no less.

“Daddy, Where Did I Come From?” by The Nice
I’m not your Daddy, but I’m gonna to answer your question. You were originally part of a glob of mess left behind unintentionally by your Daddy inside your Mommy’s body after one unspectacular and unsatisfying night. In her body, you out swam your peers and managed to snuggle into an enclave called an egg where you resided for the next nine months. During this span of time, you slowly mutated into a higly sophiscated living species (this is highly subjective of course) and proceeded to wriggle your way out of Mummy’s tummy when the right time arised, together with lots of blood and disgusting unnameable fluid substances in the ensuing process. Now do you know where you came from? . . . No? Ok, you were actually born out of a rock.

“Where Did It All Go Wrong?” by Oasis
Right after you cancelled your gig in Singapore because you were so freak out by the terrorist attacks in Bali. That’s when we knew you were just some balless wimps and not some hard talking rebels you guys projected youselves as.

“What’s Up?” by 4 Non Blondes
Nothing. I was happily minding my own business before you came.

“Why Didn’t Rosemary?” by Deep Purple
Why didn’t she what? What sort of a question is that?

“Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?” by Rod Stewart
Don’t bother. I’m not interested.

“Can I Touch You There?” by Michael Bolton
Hell no. I said it once, I’ll said it again. Every part of me are meant for chio bu to touch and not by some old balding freak like you.

“Do You Wanna Touch Me” by Gary Glitter
No, I’m not going to touch you either, you fucking freak.

“Do You Love Me?” by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Nabeh.

“Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” by Elton John
. . . . .

“Do You Wanna Make Love” by Peter McCann
That does it. I’m getting my crowbar.

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31 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Anonymous  |  April 12, 2005 at 4:29 am

    LOL! Good one!!

    Reply
  • 2. Guojun  |  April 12, 2005 at 5:29 am

    Funny.

    Reply
  • 3. Anonymous  |  April 12, 2005 at 6:18 am

    hey your jokes cannot make it already. substandard!!!

    Reply
  • 4. Anonymous  |  April 12, 2005 at 6:29 am

    LOL !!!!! All Your Jokes Are Damn Funny Man !!

    Reply
  • 5. Anonymous  |  April 12, 2005 at 6:56 am

    hey, simply love the last part. damn funny!! keep it going!!

    Reply
  • 6. phelan  |  April 12, 2005 at 7:11 am

    I nearly choked on my drink. Good stuff cheeky!

    Reply
  • 7. Anonymous5  |  April 12, 2005 at 8:03 am

    ahaha!! You are getting better!!

    keep it up man!!

    Reply
  • 8. Jo|ty  |  April 12, 2005 at 9:10 am

    i din catch the trend till the later parts.. but i think you could still do better than that.. hee..

    Reply
  • 9. willowink  |  April 12, 2005 at 9:18 am

    Minister Mentor or Minister Menthol? (gum flavor?)

    Julie Biscuit, another classic one!

    Reply
  • 10. Claris  |  April 12, 2005 at 9:20 am

    witty bastard!

    Reply
  • 11. Ra  |  April 12, 2005 at 10:13 am

    oh boy… it started a bit lukewarm… but by the time I reached Michael Bolton, I was so roaring with laughter I just couldn’t stop!! *Thumb Up*

    Reply
  • 12. Skye Bleu  |  April 12, 2005 at 10:14 am

    u r so cool…

    i wanna be like cheeky… :P

    Reply
  • 13. Jroeei  |  April 12, 2005 at 10:06 pm

    Lol. You play winning eleven? On what platform?

    Reply
  • 14. h3lix  |  April 13, 2005 at 1:43 am

    “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?” by Elton John
    . . . . .

    WAHHAHAHA somehow this made me burst out laughing. Nice to have you back bloggin :P

    Reply
  • 15. nahele  |  April 13, 2005 at 4:26 am

    thanks for bringing a smile to me… its been a long time since i did so =) enjoyed your post a lot

    Reply
  • 16. pea  |  April 13, 2005 at 6:52 am

    teehee.

    i’m for travis’s “why does it always rain on me?” :)

    Reply
  • 17. derek  |  April 14, 2005 at 5:36 am

    This post has been removed by the author.

    Reply
  • 18. derek  |  April 14, 2005 at 5:36 am

    damm alright!!

    Reply
  • 19. cheeky  |  April 14, 2005 at 6:24 am

    jroeei: on PC. Still at 2 stars. Can’t go beyond that yet.

    h3lix: yup good to be back.

    nahele: thanks. and gal watever problems u have, feel free to talk to someone. Dun bottle it up.

    pea: oh yeah Travis.

    Anna: hah, u get it didn’t u. Julie biscuit i mean.

    Reply
  • 20. ah Boi  |  April 14, 2005 at 6:58 am

    “Will You Be There” by Michael Jackson

    I like!…

    oh yar, Ive moved…
    http://onacrack.blogspot.com

    Reservist sucks

    Reply
  • 21. Ah Fatt's Fan  |  April 14, 2005 at 7:45 pm

    How’s the massage, Cheeky? Got trumatized by Ah Fatt? Sincerely speaking, this piece is not as funny as your previous works, but i can still see it took hell lot of effort from you to find the songs name. Good work!

    Reply
  • 22. Brose  |  April 15, 2005 at 11:51 am

    This post is hella lot of work to find those moronic song titles.

    Reply
  • 23. Kai  |  April 15, 2005 at 10:39 pm

    hahaha.. very good one cheeky..keep it up.. must be tough finding those title..

    Reply
  • 24. Anonymous  |  April 16, 2005 at 6:16 pm

    Most of the jokes are too dry and fall flat…you are a person with great potential, but this entry, unfortunately, doesn’t show it.

    Reply
  • 25. cheeky  |  April 16, 2005 at 8:06 pm

    ah fatt fans/anon: this entry was inspired by sean condon. Not really a ‘in your face’ type of humour, it’s softer (is that how u say it?). When I first read sean condon’s version, i thought the concept was pretty unique and funny. Ok maybe not funny like laughing out loud instantly, but still funny and clever, that’s why I decided to do one of my own version of it.

    expro/brose: It’s not hard to find those titles. Just click on one of those underline titles and it’ll bring u to the website.

    Reply
  • 26. becca  |  April 17, 2005 at 11:04 pm

    cheeky rocks!!!!!! Love your blog so much. But love the last line the most. Lolz.

    Reply
  • 27. miss_kindakinky  |  April 18, 2005 at 11:44 am

    thank you for this entry cheeky.

    It brought a smile to my face :)

    Reply
  • 28. cheeky  |  April 20, 2005 at 7:30 am

    soccer: haha thanks. My head is ballooning.

    kindakinky: yo babe you are welcome.

    Reply
  • 29. Zen|th  |  April 20, 2005 at 11:59 am

    Haha. I had a good laugh reading that entry, like I always do with all your entries. =)

    Reply
  • 30. Jonathan  |  April 23, 2005 at 2:21 pm

    hey… nice post and both me and my wife enjoyed it very much!

    Reply
  • 31. Mrs Reeves  |  July 18, 2005 at 11:59 pm

    damnit lo u…. i have to hide my face to refrain myself from laughing out loud lo…. lol! i reading in school. scared people thought i siao… hahaha…

    Reply

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