Great fun with IRC

January 23, 2005 at 9:32 pm 59 comments

Cheeky used to chat in IRC during exam periods to de-stress. IRC for your info, provide a great excuse for you to leave your brain in the fridge and indulge in some mindless conversations with strangers. Great entertainment values plus it’s low cost. Anyway, below is an excerpt of a chat that happened a few years ago.

Cheeky aka Mike: Hi, I’m Mike. Anyone care for a chat?

15 minutes gone and not a single person wanted to chat with cheeky.
What do you do in such a situation? You change your nick.

Cheeky aka Sexy Mike: Hi. Anyone wants to chat?

5 minutes went by and suddenly a message from someone called NUS guy popped up on the screen.

NUS guy: You think you are so damn sexy? Why don’t you go fuck yourself. Fucking loser. Hahaha.

Hey, come on. There’s no need to be mean. Cheeky just want to chat with someone. Anyone. Drastic situation calls for drastic action. Cheeky decided to change his nick again.

Cheeky aka Rachel: Hi, anyone care for a chat?

This seems to do the trick. Very soon, a couple of guys attempt to chat up with cheeky, er I mean Rachel. But Rachel ignored them because he, no she no he, oh what the fuck he/she was waiting for that very special person to appear. After a few minutes, that special someone appeared.

NUS guy: Hi. Wanna chat?
Woohoo!!! The dickhead has knocked on the door. Why don’t we reciprocate and let him in. It’s gonna to be fun.
Cheeky aka Rachel: Sure.
NUS guy: Intro pls.
Don’t they ever change their lines.
Rachel: 20/f. U leh?
NUS guy: Me 23/m. Are u studying?
No, cheeky is lazing at home all day scratching his balls.
Rachel: Yup. At NUS.
NUS guy: hey, me too. Which faculty are you from?
Rachel: Business.
NUS guy: I’m from engineering. Where do u live?
A few miles from Lim Chu Kang abattoir where your fellow friends are being slaughtered
Rachel: At Bishan St 23.
NUS guy: Ok. So u got a boyfriend?
No, but got plenty of girlfriends.
Rachel: No.
NUS guy: Yah, me too. Just dumped my previous girlfriend.
Hahaha, like real.
Rachel: So why did u dump her?
NUS guy: Oh. Incompatible characters. She was too possessive. I prefer a bit more freedom for myself. I don’t like my girlfriend restricting my way of life, u know what I mean? So what’s your height and weight?
Dickhead is clearly looking for a babe. Lets oblige his request.
Rachel: 166cm/43kg.
NUS guy: u must be very pretty.
Er… if you say so. But cheeky prefer to be called yan dao.
Rachel: Ok lah. You leh? Must be very handsome right?
NUS guy: Hmmm… my female classmates did say I resemble Daniel Wu a lot. I don’t know lah. I think I resemble Tony Leung more.
Someone please pass cheeky a bag. He needs to puke.
Rachel: So are u on a look out for a new girlfriend?
NUS guy: I don’t think there’s a need. I think I have found one right in you.
Make that bag a large one.
Rachel: haha, u are a smooth talker.
NUS guy: Gift of the gab is just one of my many virtues u know. If you don’t mind, can I know your vital statistic.
Sure. It’s 11 inches in length
Rachel: 36-24-36.
NUS guy: Wow! Do u have a photo that u could send to me.
Oh oh. How?
Rachel: u send me your first lah.
NUS guy: Ok, but after that u promise to send me yours. Promise me hah.
Promise your head lah.
Rachel: sure.
Dickhead DCC his photo over.


Haha, really look like Tony Leung. The pirated version of the pirated version of Tony Leung.

Rachel: Wah, u look very handsome leh.
NUS guy: Thanks. A lot of people said that.
Still puking
NUS guy: Now u must send me yours hor.
Rachel: I don’t have to. U just have to buy the latest copy of Maxim. I’m on page 12 wearing a pink bikini.
NUS guy: Wah serious? U are a model?
No, but Cheeky got a lot of model areoplanes at home.
Rachel: I’m just a part timer. Nothing to shout about.
NUS guy: Tomorrow, I will buy one copy, first thing in the morning.
I’m sure you will, you fucking piece of shit.
NUS guy: Can I have your number?
Of course. The number is 999
Rachel: er… I’m not that keen to give my number to strangers. Why don’t u leave me yours.
NUS guy: ermm… ok. My number is 9xxxxxxx.
Woohooo, tomorrow go buy toto and 4D
NUS guy: can I meet you in person?
Cheeky very shy leh. How?
Rachel: er…. Sure. But I want to bring a friend along.
NUS guy: No problem. Is she a gal by the way.
Rachel: No. It’s a guy. But u know him too.
NUS guy: u are kidding me right? What’s his name?
Rachel: Sexy Mike.
NUS guy:…………………………Chao cheebye!!!

Wahahahaha. See IRC can be so fun. However, if you are looking for a life partner or soul mates, the IRC is not the right avenue because all kinds of people with undesirable motives and traits exist in the chat room. Better to be entertained, don’t you think?

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