JC Orientation

January 5, 2005 at 1:36 am 30 comments

With the start of the new school year, all the JCs will be conducting their orientations. Yes, it does bring back memories now that cheeky thinks about it.

If you haven’t know, one of the staple event in any JC orientations is mass dance. This is when horny young men and nubile young gals got paired up to master some dance steps choreograph by the student councilors.

Cheeky remembers that he and his cohort were all huddled up into the hall. Everyone knew that it’s time for mass dance when the student councilors started to shut all the doors in the hall due to the repeated history of people slipping out during the dance in previous years. Yes, the government has successfully imbedded its style of governing into schools. A group of Chinese High students, with their tight little shorts and hairy legs, started moaning about wasting their time learning some stupid dance, but then we all know that deep down, they are eager to get the dance started. Horny hypocrites. So when the time came for everyone to pair up, the same group of Chinese High students was busy scouting for their long lost sisters from Nanyang Girls. Cheeky was scanning the hall for some convent girls. Don’t know why but cheeky was especially smitten with convent girls. Must be their uniform. But as luck would have it, cheeky was paired up with a butch in the mould of Joscelin Yeo. If it wasn’t for her school uniform, cheeky would have mistaken her as a guy. But being a gentleman, cheeky nevertheless tried to strike up a conversation with her.

Cheeky: Hi, my name is cheeky.
Butch: Cut the small talk and listen up twag. I know all the filthy things that went through a guy’s mind. Don’t even think about it. I have 3 things to warn you about. First, my chest area and butt are off limit. Keep your filthy hands in their proper places. Second, I have a black belt in Taekwondo. Thirdly, your groin will always be within the sight of my kneecaps. One stupid move from you and wham bang. I don’t have to spell out what happens right. You get my drift?

It was an agonizing 90 minutes since cheeky knew that his manhood was under constant threat from that menacing looking kneecaps. We were dancing to Timmy Thomas “ Dying Inside to Hold You”, but cheeky was dying inside to get out because he was being manhandled literally by that butch.

Another staple game for orientation is water bombs. Cheeky believes that guys invented the game so that we could have an excuse to wet the gals’ shirt. There are 3 commandments that all guys playing the water bombs have to abide to. The codes are:

1. Thou shalt not waste your water bombs on your fellow brothers.
2. Thou shalt conspire with your fellow brothers to wet as many chicks as possible.
3. Thee pursuit shalt be relentless until objective (2) is met.

Cheeky has one advice to dispense to gals playing water bombs. Please wear extra clothings, because when it comes to water bombs, even mommy’s boys can turn lecherous and beastly in an instant. Just ask those Chinese High students.


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30 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jayaxe  |  January 5, 2005 at 3:12 am

    Haha, You should have told the butch that you wouldn’t want to touch her even if she had paid you money!

  • 2. Fat Fingers  |  January 5, 2005 at 4:52 am

    i hate the jc orientation! i ran off during the mass dance hehe

  • 3. ah Boi  |  January 5, 2005 at 5:25 am

    hahahahaha.. i totally CANNOT stop myself from laughing!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha…….

    that is so darn funni!!!!… mercy of a butch’s knee…

  • 4. Anonymous  |  January 5, 2005 at 8:50 am

    u cute lah u

  • 5. Zen|th  |  January 5, 2005 at 6:25 pm

    Hahaha! All boys are horny no matter what school they’re from. You should have brought a balls guard or something to the dance.

    Water bombs.. Man.. I should have gone to a JC Orientation too. =(

  • 6. FF  |  January 5, 2005 at 8:51 pm

    We had that mass dance thingy too during my uni orientation day. I thought it was crap.

  • 7. ~Free . Soul~  |  January 6, 2005 at 1:21 am

    haha i thought you should jus try, at the risk of ur balls… scarly that butch got balls too, jus afraid that you might expose her secret.. because from wat i know, those butches are a bunch of horny bitches too…

  • 8. Lili  |  January 6, 2005 at 7:19 am

    This post has been removed by the author.

  • 9. Lili  |  January 6, 2005 at 7:43 am

    MY EXACT SENTIMENTS to this post! i survived 3 mass dance keeping all the horny hypocrites at bay! yeah! i’m so glad my orientation is ending. i cant stand the cheerings, i feel like a dog barking.

  • 10. Satin  |  January 6, 2005 at 9:29 am

    i can never see things the way guys do. i can never understand what’s so alluring with see-through tops or wet ones. What is so sexy about that? Ok.. stupid me, I am a girl, likely to have different views.

    During JC orientation, our orientation shirts were white. Overheard a guy saying “wah, the shirts are like underwear. I can so see what the girls are wearing inside.” well.. what girls wear inside we all know, always look the same what..

  • 11. Satin  |  January 6, 2005 at 9:36 am

    i love the orientation dances though.

    I realise I have very different sentiments, on what constitutes ‘sexiness’, from guys. What’s with black underwear and thongs? Sexy meh? Mysterious? **Shrug** Perhaps, it’s just sour grapes on my part. I wanna be sexy too! K..I know attitude n the way the girl carries herself matter too.

    ha.. paiseh.. perhaps I am writing way too mcuh :p

  • 12. cheeky  |  January 6, 2005 at 7:41 pm

    jayx: wanted to say, but then her knee looked frightening.
    fingers: yah, a lot of people does that
    ff: yes, it’s crap.
    wagawaga: so funny meh, my manhood under threat leh.
    zen|th: yah, wasted sia
    lili: so what song did they play for your mass dance?
    anon: i not cute lah
    lala: they are invading our turf.
    satin: guys are horny by nature. The extend of it differ from guy to guy. some border on the extreme, we call them perverts. most are harmless because they have self control and sanity.

  • 13. Bubblemunche  |  January 7, 2005 at 3:28 am

    Damn, now you make me regret not going to JC :(

    Wet t-shirts…. yum…… :P…….

  • 14. alice  |  January 7, 2005 at 8:35 am

    arr.i got to know this sweet guy
    partner during mass dance.
    what can i say ?
    i am more lucky than you ?

  • 15. Lili  |  January 7, 2005 at 8:58 am

    We danced stupid mambo no.5, and i ended up with this SCHOLAR FROM INDIA (say woah), who is so enthu but always get the moves wrong. HE KEPT WIPING HIS SWEAT AND THEN HOLD MY HANDS!!!! how gross la. also got buriquitto, and duno wat slam dunk wat funk one. damn lame. cheeky you from wat jc?

  • 16. Sanz  |  January 7, 2005 at 10:00 pm

    HCJC??? Just a guess.

  • 17. JanK  |  January 8, 2005 at 4:03 am

    sad sad sad. i never attended a mass dance before. I didn’t know that JC was that fun. Should have studied harder. hahahaha.
    sad to hear that all guys are born horny. ugh. hahahahaha.

    xoxo Jank

  • 18. cheeky  |  January 8, 2005 at 8:24 am

    lili/sanz: From SAJC. I think your partner prefer bhangra dance lah.
    jank: JC is not all that fun. Serious.
    bubble: u horny lah u.
    spired: so happy for u.

  • 19. Guojun  |  January 8, 2005 at 8:26 pm

    I enjoy all my orientation dances, in JC we did to “Tribal Dance”; In Uni, I was even the demonstrator and AI for the Engin Orientation Mass dances. We did to the tune of “I’ll be there for you” (Friends Theme) for 2 years and “The right kind of wrong” by LeAnn Rimes for one year.

    In addition, I joined Social and Ballroom Dancing as one of my Uni ECA.

    Horny bastard? Indeed.

  • 20. Mandrake  |  January 10, 2005 at 7:31 pm

    You don’t have to be in a JC to go to the mass dance.. just gate crash.. unless you look like 30 or something.

  • 21. Anonymous  |  January 10, 2005 at 11:06 pm

    hey i was from sajc too..which batch are you from? haha. jerlise…just browing thru your blog. and yes i agree about wearing thick t-shirts..preferbly dark coloured ones :p and moreover…some jcs which are by the sea have a bad habit of dunking everybody into the lagoon heh.

  • 22. Agagooga  |  January 11, 2005 at 5:22 am


    My mass dances were very tame leh. Ah well.

  • 23. Alwyn  |  January 11, 2005 at 5:52 am

    this is such a funny post. but then again, i’m sure the girls already know “the 5 laws of defence”

    1) wear a dark colored t-shirt
    2) hide behind other guys
    3) pretend to be not able to play
    4) cook up a plot to wet the ogl first, thereby using up as many waterbombs as far as possible
    5) get wet. and lament about it.

    ok. but mass dance is like the prelude icebreaker to unsucessful attempts at social engineering over the next 2 years. when the mindblock magically lifts on prom night.

  • 24. deja-voo  |  January 12, 2005 at 6:56 am

    oooh orientation is so fun. everybody itches for the mass dance part because its like a series of 5 songs lar. and vjc always love the cheering that follows that.

    haha and its the quintessential ‘boy-meets’girl’ nostalgia that everybody misses

  • 25. Anonymous  |  January 13, 2005 at 4:34 am

    ehhh dun bias against chinese high leh…from where i come from ar…the ri ppl worse lor..

  • 26. Anonymous  |  February 16, 2005 at 2:57 am

    My fren had a RGS gal ask him “how long do you guys take to musterbate?”

    That was such an eye opener.

  • 27. nahnah  |  March 15, 2005 at 12:56 am

    lili.. u are from ajc rite? and its slam dunk da funk.. :D i grabbed my fellow gal og fren for the mambo no. 5.. phew.. boriquitto was so fun!! but juz carn stand the starting animal noises.. eww.. and not all RGS gals are like that ok.. cos tts where im from..

  • 28. Anonymous  |  May 30, 2005 at 7:01 am

    i loved it, so much attention from guys, all over me in see through top
    my fren got caught, no bra, no titties though

  • 29. Anonymous  |  September 30, 2005 at 12:55 am

    Damn. POLY RULES!

  • 30. razor  |  January 8, 2006 at 4:02 am

    eh chinese high bastard, dun be biased against ri ppl too lor. my alma mater hor.

    all guys are the same, no need to discriminate against wad school sia.

    lol. water bombs rawk…


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