Interview with ex-Mediaworks Artistes

January 2, 2005 at 8:22 pm 20 comments

With the merger of mediacorp and mediaworks, we are once again back to square one. Despite all the fake fronts put up by both side, we all know that deep down there are bound to be some sort of resentments and anger. That’s why cheekybynature has dispatch its most bitchy showbiz reporter, Kate who by the way has a mean tongue to match her body, to hunt down former mediaworks artistes and ask them how they feel about the whole thing.


Kate: hi Ix
Ix Shen: oh hi
Kate: So Ix, how does it feel to be back in Mediacorp?
Ix: I think it’s great. It’s a great feeling to be seeing lots of familiar faces and maybe a chance to act alongside my good buddy Tay Ping Hui again.
Kate: are you sure you are going back to Chinese drama division?
Ix: of course, I’m a credible actor, where else do you think I’m going.
Kate: Well, according to my source, there’s a high possibility that you are moving to Kids’ Central.
Ix: Nah, it can’t be true.
Kate: well, frankly speaking, the audiences are all for it. You’ll be doing a great public service.
Ix: what the fuck do you mean by that?
Kate: I mean considering your woody acting and deadpan expression, it would make a lot of sense to place you in a role where not much acting is required
Ix: Nabeh.
Kate: think of it this way, there’s no need for you to work on any facial expressions knowing your head is hidden in a costume, ala Barney, Bananas in Pajamas or Teletubbies.
Ix: Nabeh cheebye.
Kate: Chill Ix, sometimes you have to face the fact. Your acting really sucks.
Ix: Ok, I don’t know why, but my hand is gradually transforming into a fist, so you better scram while you still can.


Kate: Hi Adam.
Adam Chen: Nice to meet you.
Kate: Ok, a few questions to ask you. How does it feel to be working alongside your girlfriend Cynthia Koh now that you are in Mediacorp?
Adam: Haha, not much really.
Kate: Oh come on, surely there’s must be some contentment.
Adam: Haha, ok, maybe a bit.
Kate: So have you recce the whole place. Found any good spot to make out with Cynthia?
Adam: I don’t know what you are talking about.
Kate: Come on, don’t act blur. There’s a lot of spare time to make out in between shootings you know.
Adam: I’m sorry, I like to make a move. I have a job to do.
Kate: A job to do? Where? Back alley, toilet or in the bush?
Adam: You are nuts!


Kate: Hi Darren, care to spare a few minutes?
Darren Lim: Sure.
Kate: Is it awkward for you to be going back and seeing your ex bosses and colleagues.
Darren: No no, not at all. I’m glad to be back in Mediacorp. I have made a lot of good friends before I left. I think with the merger, we are able to pool our resources together and put out more credible programs for the audiences. I can’t wait to see my old colleagues, we have a lot to catch up. Our bonds are incredibly strong despite being away for 4 years.
Kate: Wah, so PR. You rehearse many times at home is it?
Darren: No lah. I speak from the heart.
Kate: Ok, I’m sure everyone will be eager to know. How did you manage to impregnate your wife on the very first night of your wedding, on the very first try?
Darren: I don’t share my sex life with the public, sorry.
Kate: Did you tried out any specific position or consumed any special tonics. Were any kinky toys involved in the whole process? Come on, the country is facing a declining birthrate, dispense some advices to all those pitiful childless couples. Don’t be niao lah.
Darren: I’m really sorry, I’m very uncomfortable with your style of questioning.
Kate: Have you consider joining our national football team. They are really in need of a prolific “goal scorer” like you. One shot, one goal.
Darren: I’m sorry, I really have to go.


Kate: Ann, nice to see you again.
Ann Kok: What the fuck you want?
Kate: Wow, Ann. Why the mean streak in you?
Ann: 6 years out in the wilderness, now I’m back to claim my rightful place as the queen of Caldecot Hill. Fuck off Zoe Tay. Fuck off Fann Wong.
Kate: Pardon my rudeness, but what make you so sure you are up there in the pecking order to replace the queen?
Ann: Hahaha. I have seen Zoe Tay a few days ago. Lets just say she’s has not been taking good care of herself. Quite a few wrinkles on her face and her boobs, although bloated from the pregnancy, have been really saggy. I foresee her days as queen are numbered. As for Fann Wong, she is in the middle of her mating season with Christopher Lee, way too distracted to know what’s going on. This left me as the only credible, attractive and sexy actress on Caldecot Hill. Not to mention I have the biggest boobs around now that Ann Poh is out of the business.
Kate: Ehm… all this still does not convince me you can usurp the throne.
Ann: Haha, I learned from my Kei Lei Fei (extras) days in Hong Kong that to be successful in the showbiz, one has to seduce a dick head who has some influence in the organization. I can tell you frankly that I have just one firmly held in my ample bosom now.
Kate: May I know who?
Ann: Nah, can’t tell. Now just fuck off and make way for the queen.


Ben Yeo: Hi
Kate: Eh…. Hi
Ben: Aren’t you going to ask me some questions?
Kate:……………..
Ben: Go on, I’m glad to answer any of your questions.
Kate: Will you let me go if I do that?
Ben: Yah sure. Go on, I’m eager to answer.
Kate: How does it feel to join Mediacorp?
Ben: I’m extremely delighted to be joining an organization that will offer me ongoing challenges and opportunities. The company is a respectable name in the industry with proven track records in churning out good quality shows in the region. I’m proud to be part of this family and I hope I can excel in my career here.
Kate: Can I go now? Please?


Kate: Hi Yifeng. Free for an interview?
Quan Yifeng: Sure. I always have time for my favorite reporter.
Kate: First off. Considering the bad blood between you and the management prior to your sacking a few years ago, do you think the ties can be mended?
Yifeng: Sure. All those things happened in the past. Let bygone be bygone and start off on a new footing.
Kate: From what I know, the management has not forgiven you for your misdemeanor and your attitudes.
Yifeng: Don’t be silly, if that’s the case they wouldn’t have offered me a contract in the first place.
Kate: According to my source, the reason they lure you back by offering you a contract, is to slowly have fun making your life a living hell while you are here.
Yifeng: I don’t think your source is reliable and it doesn’t make sense. I’m one of the very few capable and eloquent Chinese compere left in Singapore. Where are they going to find another person to replace me if they spite me off?
Kate: My source is pretty credible.
Yifeng: Ok ok, even if it’s true, I don’t care a damn. I’m a strong woman who has weathered many storms and overcoming many challenges thrown to me. I’m simply not intimidated by anything anymore. What can they possibly do to me?
Kate: I heard they are transferring you to Vasantham Central
Quan Yifeng suddenly fainted.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Last post of the year New Current Affair Program

20 Comments Add your own

  • 1. FF  |  January 1, 2005 at 9:59 pm

    I’d like to see Kate interview the ones who were retrenched please.

    Reply
  • 2. ah Boi  |  January 1, 2005 at 10:23 pm

    hahah..
    that is WACK!!!!!!

    so darn funni!!!!!!

    Reply
  • 3. Jayaxe  |  January 1, 2005 at 10:50 pm

    Ok I throughoutly enjoyed the interview. Now, show me reporter Kate’s mean body!

    Reply
  • 4. yuskwon  |  January 2, 2005 at 1:19 am

    this is DOPE!!!! hahaha..love ur blog man…from today, i will now pledge my loyalty towards ur blog

    Reply
  • 5. Lili  |  January 2, 2005 at 1:26 am

    yeah yeah! after checking back ya blog every half an hour i finally see a new entry! love this place to biiittttttts!

    Reply
  • 6. Satin  |  January 2, 2005 at 2:04 am

    hilarious entry.. :)

    hey.. I thought cynthia koh and adam are through? As in broke up already?

    Reply
  • 7. Fat Fingers  |  January 2, 2005 at 2:40 am

    hahaha so funny!
    Who the hell is Ben Yeo?

    Reply
  • 8. Zen|th  |  January 2, 2005 at 9:03 pm

    Hahaha! Vasantham Central. That’s enough to make any artiste faint.

    Reply
  • 9. cheeky  |  January 3, 2005 at 3:49 am

    ff: sorry, kate is very busy
    wagawaga: woohoo
    jayx: must pay money first
    lili: thanks
    yuskwon: just pledge money will be enough
    fingers: ben yeo is my maid
    satin: is it? I got no idea.
    zen|th: yes indeed

    Reply
  • 10. Daniel  |  January 3, 2005 at 10:58 am

    Hey, you’re darn funny. Keep it up!

    Reply
  • 11. HunnyBunny  |  January 3, 2005 at 10:01 pm

    The interview with ix is damn funny! hahah.. Kate can go join the straits Times and diss the political ppl.. ^^

    Reply
  • 12. Bubblemunche  |  January 4, 2005 at 5:52 am

    I love the one with Ben Yeo :D! And goodness, I think Finger’s comments prove your point completely ;)

    You’re a genius!

    Reply
  • 13. audaciousjoy  |  January 10, 2005 at 10:13 pm

    Hey Cheeky!

    I know Kate is your Ace Journalist, but we the sick, twisted and lazy at 7 Star Splatoon (http://7starsplatoon.blogspot.com) are recruiting geniuses like her to write for us.

    the 7 Star Splatoon specializes in spitting.
    When we are free, we think interesting thoughts about the media scene, and type. Kate! We need you!

    Reply
  • 14. Cowboy Caleb  |  January 12, 2005 at 3:14 am

    ohhhh you art wicked!!!

    Reply
  • 15. Anonymous  |  January 12, 2005 at 5:39 am

    hiaks..this is funny..

    btw, Adam’s current gf is Lynn Poh (a/c to rumours) so Cynthia is his ex..he can still try to make out with both gals tho :P)

    Angelia

    Reply
  • 16. shianux  |  January 12, 2005 at 9:21 am

    omg, you are damn good! hahaha, this is hilarious!

    Reply
  • 17. Member 5  |  January 31, 2005 at 7:20 pm

    Interview twins, cookies all that instead ba…haha…enjoying entry! HAHA

    Reply
  • 18. Anonymous  |  February 9, 2005 at 7:37 am

    Lynn Poh absolutely has the body.. i just have this fantasy of cumming in her.. Adam her bf? Any price?

    Reply
  • 19. Makemoneydonothing  |  October 2, 2005 at 7:32 am

    Hi i am totally blown away with the blogs people have created its so much fun to read alot of good info and you have also one of the best blogs !! Have some time check my link to !!Make money on the internet

    Reply
  • 20. Makemoneydonothing  |  October 3, 2005 at 5:09 am

    Hi i am totally blown away with the blogs people have created its so much fun to read alot of good info and you have also one of the best blogs !! Have some time check my link to !!Make money fast–>

    Reply

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