Speaking efficiently

December 1, 2004 at 6:19 pm 6 comments

Years ago, no wait, months ago when cheeky was still studying in JC, we used to have mock debates during our GP lessons. On one particular debate, the topic was about foreign talent. Cheeky remembered this debate well because of a small incident. You see, one of cheeky’s classmates used the term Hongkies in one of his arguments, and coincidently, we had a classmate who’s from Hong Kong. So Mr Hongkies became agitated upon hearing it and started to verbally attack the classmate. The debate was disrupted and our GP tutor quickly asked for a closing statement from the 2 teams.

Chill Hongkies chill. Please do not blame us, it’s not our fault. It was never our intention to use derogatory term. Blame the government. The government has instill the values of efficiency on us from a very young age so much so that we began to incorporate it into our daily lives without us knowing, from the way we work to the way we speak. Why use 3 syllabus when 2 syllabus will do. Why string 20 words in a sentence when 2 words are enough to convey the same message. So to all foreign talents, when the next time you talk to us and we sounded rude, please don’t blame us, we are just trying to be efficient in the way we speak. What, you are not convinced. Well then let cheeky show you 2 examples to illustrate what speaking efficiently is all about.

Ang Moh scenario:
A waiter deliver a dish to a diner in a restaurant. The diner takes a look at the dish and say to the waiter.

Diner: It seems that you have brought me the wrong dish, my friend. I ordered a set meal not a sirloin steak.
Waiter: Oh dear, oh my. God bless her Majesty. I say, I have indeed made a mistake. Please accept my deepest apology sir. I will see to it that you get your set meal right away.
Diner: Hey, no problem at all. We all made mistakes at some point in our lives. God bless her Majesty.

The waiter went and returned with the correct dish.

Wah lau eh, Ang moh not only have long arms and legs, they also have very long tongues. Talk so much cock.

Singaporean scenario:
A waiter deliver a dish to a diner in a restaurant. The diner takes a look at the dish and say to the waiter.

Diner: Nahbeh.
Waiter: What!?
Diner: Wrong dish lah.
Waiter: Sorry lah.
The waiter went and returned with the correct dish.

Look at that everyone, efficiency at its best. Short and sharp. And what do we do with all the time we saved? We use it to queue for 4D, Toto and NDP tickets. We are really an efficient nation, don’t you think.

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6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Bubblemunche  |  November 30, 2004 at 10:37 pm

    Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!

    Well, that’s to be expected in S’pore, the land of many an acronym and abbreviation.

    Reply
  • 2. ivan  |  December 1, 2004 at 10:02 am

    Hahaha…. hilarious… the brits actually take it to another lvl. thats y i’m friendless here… i’m the rude man… hahaha

    Reply
  • 3. FF  |  December 1, 2004 at 5:45 pm

    Cheeky>> I actually speak very nicely to the waiters too. Not as lorsor as the Brits but close. Next time I’ll do it the Singaporean way. No wonderlah i’m not rich. No time to queue to buy 4d.

    Reply
  • 4. cheeky  |  December 2, 2004 at 8:16 pm

    bubble: how true
    ivan: u study in england? cool, caught any premier league football?
    FF: i’m sure u will snag a rich bf one day.

    Reply
  • 5. Zen|th  |  December 4, 2004 at 11:43 am

    I agree. Singlish is a faster way to talk. Why say “Excuse me, I’m going to the restroom” when you can just say, “Eh, I go toilet”.

    Reply
  • 6. ivan  |  December 5, 2004 at 5:52 pm

    cheeky: nope no epl… way too broke for it. waiting to snag a sugar mummy… haha–>

    Reply

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