Dear Agony Aunt

November 18, 2004 at 6:10 pm 3 comments

Dear Agony Aunt,

I’m a 13 years old boy currently studying in a top-notch boys school. A few days ago, we had our first sex education lesson. Mrs Lim, who’s also our biology teacher began the lesson by showing us two charts showing the male and female body and vividly described the function of the various organs she singled out. Most of us cringed at each description. She then played a documentary from Discovery channel on the TV. The documentary showed 2 rhinos doing all those horrible things to each other. After the show ended, Mrs Lim turned to us and said, “And that’s how your parents created you.” A few of my classmate broke down after hearing it and Billy, the class bully even soiled his pants. When I reached home, I told my mom what I learned in school that day. She looked disturbed, went to the altar, burned a few joss sticks and begged for forgiveness from “Guanyin” for being such a bad mother. My grandma then took a can with small pieces of crumbled papers in it from the kitchen and asked me to pick 4 numbers. Dear Agony Aunt, I feel traumatize and I can’t eat and sleep. I also think I had lost all respect for my parents. What should I do?

Yours sincerely
Lionel

Dear Lionel,

Oh you poor poor boy. Do you need a hug, you twag. I have seen my fair share of boys like you whining and complaining about how gross sex is, but mark my words, a few more years from now, all you whiners will be hankering for sex 24/7, yes 24/7, no thanks to the magical thing call male hormones. And when that happens, you’ll be wondering why you ever wrote such a hypocritical letter to me in the first place. In the mean time, I suggest you go see a counselor, but not Mrs Lim please, she’s tactless and clueless. At any point of time, if you feel your hankering has reached a problematic proportion, I suggest you go back and think about those 2 rhinos again. If it’s any comfort to you, Agony Aunt caught her parents making out on the kitchen table yesterday. Yes, kitchen table, the place where you put your food on and sat around for your makan. Now who has got the raw deal, you brat.

Yours Sincerely
Agony Aunt

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

True and scary ghost story Let me fly without wings and away from here

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. FF  |  November 17, 2004 at 7:16 pm

    Ha ha. Agony Aunt sounds like a lonely old spinster. Virgin spinster.

    Reply
  • 2. Bubblemunche  |  November 18, 2004 at 1:21 am

    I sincerely hope you didn’t, er, caught your folks in action :P….

    Reply
  • 3. cheeky  |  November 19, 2004 at 2:44 am

    FF: yes, agony aunt hates men.
    bubble: thank god I didn’t

    Reply

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