Interview with Bush and Kerry

September 3, 2004 at 8:14 pm 1 comment

Reporter: Thank you sir for agreeing to this interview.
Bush: Ha ha no problem at all lad.
Reporter: First question first, what do think it’s your biggest achievement during your term in office?
Bush: My biggest achievement? Why I must say it’s that I got to kicked some Talibans’ ass and screwed Saddam. I also learned that Papa New Guinea is not a real person. Not that I bother much about it though.
Reporter: The media label you as intellectually-challenged. What do you say to that?

Long Pause

Reporter: The media label you as a dumbass. What do you say to that?
Bush: Oh haha, why don’t you say so earlier. What a showoff. Me a dumbass? That’s ridiculous. I have half a mind of suing them.
Reporter: The Iraq war. Was it a mistake?
Bush: You know, I ponder over this question often.
Bush suddenly jumps up and turns to Dick Cheney.
Yo Dick, Dick did you hear that, I used the word ‘ponder’. Call for a press conference will ya.
Reporter: Sir, can we get back to the question.
Bush: Hahaha, right right. As I was saying, I P-O-N-D-E-R over this question often. Nobody likes war but think of the gallons of oil damn it.
Reporter: Any plans to improve the economy?
Bush: I think that’s all for today lad. I’m getting giddy.
Reporter: Would you like to finish the question first sir?
Bush: No can’t do.
Reporter: Have you talk to Greenspan about the economy?
Bush: Look kid, there’s a limit to how many brain cells I could kill each day. Any number beyond that, I’ll go straight into a coma. So if you dun mind me, I like to excuse myself.
Reporter: Sir one last question, What’s your name?
Bush: My name? Ha ha, why it’s…….

Bush blanks out.


Reporter: I’m glad to have you on board this interview Mr Kerry.
Kerry: Look smartass, I’m in a bad mood so you better don’t ask any questions that piss me off. You get it? Cut the crap and shoot.
Reporter: Ok. What’s your stand on the war?
Kerry: My stand on the war? Are you from Mars or something. I thought I made it very clear from the start. I’m against war. Totally against war.
Reporter: Why did you vote for the war in the Senate then?
Kerry: That’s because I didn’t know I was going to become a presidential candidate back then, you dumbass.
Reporter: The media view you as a flip flop kind of person with no consistent agenda. Any comments to that?
Kerry: You see this lovely slick hairdo of mine. Do you know how much effort and time goes into styling it every single morning? That’s what I call unwavering dedication and commitment to a cause, you nimwit.
Reporter: You have been criticised for having no significant achievements during your 20 years in the senate. Comments?
Kerry: You sure you don’t have any brain tumor or something? I could recommend a good doctor to you. My greatest achievement? I kissed everyone ass and made everyone happy. That’s why I managed to stay there for over 20 years, you piece of shit.
Reporter: Why do you think you are the right person to lead the nation?
Kerry: We pissed off too many countries and it takes a special kind of person to kiss all the asses around and mend the fences. I think my years in the senate and lips comes in handy.
Reporter: Thank you Mr Kerry for your time.
Kerry: Yeah yeah blah blah blah.


Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Cheeky’s open letter Chickens and eggs

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. reverie  |  September 5, 2004 at 12:53 am

    good one! ; )


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