Idols Fever

August 27, 2004 at 7:59 pm Leave a comment

What’s up with all the Idols fever man? If you want to see talents, I urge you, I strongly urge you to come to K-box at paradiz centre. Me and my khakis will be most willingly to belt out a few hokkien melodies for you, heck if orgies is not your cup of tea, you can join me in the shower room one-on-one but keep your bloody filthy hands and maybe your feet to yourself. Now lets talk about those contestants. I’m sure they are thinking of stardom and so on, but most likely the winner will signed a contract with mediacorp and be cast as some molester in Crimewatch. It’s not a shame because Crimewatch enjoy high approval ratings from aunties and Ah Peks.

Speaking of the judges.
Dick Dick Dick, we all know you were the bunt of many jokes during your childhood but please don’t vent your frustrations and humiliations on those poor souls. I don’t know what you did to piss your parents off but Mom and Pop must have named you Dick for a reason. Think of people worse off than you, heck think of my friend Chee Hong, guess how he felt all these years. Go easy on the contestants, you are a bigger dick, I mean a bigger man than that.
And grandpa Douglas, why so quiet during the show? Jack up the hearing aid old man.
Ken we sympathize with you, we really do. It’s a traumatic experience to be involved in the Echo boys project years ago but it’s all in the past. Let it go ken, just let it go. And go easy on the sleeping pills at night.
Florence, we know you want to portray yourself as a gutsy woman with a mind of your own unlike sweet Paula who has no qualms about spreading her legs for anyone just so everyone would like her. But you are there for a reason and you jolly well know it. As a vase to decorate the set, albeit a vase with cracks but still a vase nonetheless.
With that, I like to see more hugs, hi-fivers, tears and kisses in future episodes. And bring back the bananaman, I like that guy.

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