Encik Tan Has Something To Say

Yesterday Encik Rahim pointed out a discussion going on on the internet to me. Wah damn surprise that the old fuck can surf other things other than porn. Anyway he was telling me about this thing call the CEP use by all government bodies including SAF to gauge employee lah. CEP according to Rahim stands for Current Estimated Potential. Simi lan you might be asking. I said the same thing to Rahim and the old fuck explain that CEP is actually used by the big shots to measure your worth and potential to an organisation wor. The more tok kong your CEP the faster you get promoted lah. If your CEP got many digits like our ministers salary, don’t need to do sai kang liao, fuck Cpt, fuck Colonel straight away jump to BG liao. Rahim add that everyone is already assigned a score even before you start work based on your education level, your CCA (again simi lan) and what color horse you are (unless you are PM Lee’s son lah, in which case, you are labelled a unicorn liao). He add that all the cheebye scholars and white horse officers usually start off with a higher CEP and so can get promoted easier compared to the rest. Cheebye what kind of a fucking assessment is that. It’s like instead of needing to jog 6 rounds for 2.4, scholars and white horse need only to wayang round the track 3 times and they still get credited for gold.

Anyway the CEP got me thinking about my own CEP since lim peh haven’t been promoted for very long liao. So yesterday I went to see my CO. I ask the fucker, “SIR I like to know my CEP SIR!” The fucker looked at me and said “huh?”. So I repeat lah, ” SIR I LIKE TO KNOW MY CEP SIRR!” The son of a bitch looked at me again and said, “eh, Tan what for you want to know?” So I told him becos I long time no promotion so would like to know. If I’m condemned, at least I want to know how condemn I am mah. 是不是这样讲先!

The fucker then said “Tan it’s better that you don’t know lah. What for upset yourself”. Lan Jiao! I upset myself is my business. Lim peh said NO! Die die today must know. Low score neber mind, but still must know. So the asshole took a deep breath and said, ” Tan . . your CEP . . . actually you don’t have a CEP lah.” !!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok cheebye just what the fuck was that suppose to mean. I thought everyone got one CEP. Condemn also must have one CEP tio boh? You mean lim peh worse than a condemn hah? Cheebye! The asshole continued,” Tan, actually those with education level of Sec 2 and below, don’t need a CEP wan. I’m very sorry lah.” and then he patted my shoulder like a doctor telling someone his Ah Bu did not make it. Cheebye. I then asked him then how he determine when I should get promoted, the cheebye looked at his watch and said,” haha sorry Tan but I got a parade to inspect lah, really sorry lah” and off he ran.
Cheebye, that day where got parade. Chao Cheebye!