World class security in action

Scene: Somewhere, don’t know where but somewhere in an internationally renowned airport

A mother and daughter approaching the departure gates. Mother 30 plus, daughter about 9 years of age. They stop in front of a rotund slightly obese female security officer

Female security officer: Mdm I need you to take off your shoes.

Daughter: Mummy why they want you to take off your shoes hah?

Mummy: Oh becos they scare I put bomb in my shoes wor.

Female security officer: Excuse me, what did you say?

Mummy: I said you scare I put bombs in my shoes wor.

Female security officer: Kanninah, say again

Mummy: I SAID YOU SCARE I PUT BOOOOMBS IN MY SHOE WOR!

Female security officer: CHAO CHEEBYE. *whistle* Stephen over here!

A rotund obese male security officer swagger over

Male security officer: Yo?

Female security officer: This bitch said bomb twice

Male security officer: NABEH!

Mummy: I was only explaining to my daughter wat!

Female security officer: Doesn’t matter. you said bomb twice.

Mummy: You also said wat!

Female security officer: Doesn’t matter. I wear uniform. I tua kee.

Male security officer: Wah cannot. Very serious must inform sarge already

Male security officer: *talking over his walkie talkie* Neh to sarge, neh to sarge. Roger over

Sarge over walkie talkie: Apa deh?

Male security officer: Sarge, problem here, someone mentioned the word bomb twice

Sarge over walkie talkie: *gasp* CHEEBYE! BE RIGHT THERE!

A skinny sergeant swagger over

Sarge: Nabeh did you say BOMB!

Female security officer: Sarge not the girl lah, the mother

Sarge: Nabeh did you say BOMB!

Mummy: I was only trying to explain to my daughter! Aiyoh

Sarge: CANNOT! YOU CANNOT ANYHOW SAY BOMB! CANNOT WAN! This one very serious

Female security officer: Sarge so how?

Sarge: Think must inform state police.

Mummy and daughter slap foreheads. DIU

.
After 20 minutes of clarification

State Police: Cheebye

Sarge: Tell me about it

State Police : Referring to you lah dickhead!

Cont: Mdm I’m very sorry over the whole incident but that’s what you get when you outsourced everything to monkeys

*turning to the three monkeys* cheebye, next time use a bit of common sense can?

.
10 minutes later, an Indian man rushing towards the depature gate

Indian man: Excuse me, is this the gate to catch the flight to Bombay?

Female security officer: KANNINAH what did you say?