Boon Teck – The Patriotic Singaporean Speaks Out

My dear fellow citizens, it has come to my recent attention that the displaying of animosities and hostilities from our 2 neighbours has really come to a critical point. From the burning of the effigy of our beloved DPM, to baseless accusation of us being responsible for the floods and finally having our football team’s victory branded as kelong, all these is just too much to bear. Being small, rich , prosperous and overwhelming obnoxious among a sea of losers doesn’t give any one any excuses for free access to our asses 24/7! Sure, by all means envy us for our acheivements, pander to us for direct investments but puh-lease spare us your jealousies and resentments and stuff them up where the sun don’t shine.

My dear fellow citizens, for too long we have been absorbing all the fondling and dildoing coming from our so called friends with quiet dignity. For too long we have been enduring all the blowing and the doggying for the sake of upholding the spirit of camaraderie in the lame body call Asean. Not any more. No my dear fellow citizens No! The time has come for us to place our hands over our ass and say ENOUGH! From this moment on, we will not simply let any Mahathir or Billabongs push us to the wall and grope our “asset” as and when they like it! The time has come for us to take a stance. A stance that signal to the pongs and the thirs that if they mess with us, be prepare for the “STDs” that come with it. I hereby request our most honourable Government to hold a referendum to decide on the course of action to be taken against these 2 imbecile backwater cessland masquerading as sovereign nations. This is not only to preserve the prestige and dignity of our nation but also to maintain our country’s role as a beacon of light in a region of underperforming losers!

 

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REFERENDUM A:

Your country has just been fucked by a neighbouring country. What do you think should be done?

A) Pretend nothing happen because we are a magnanimous country yo!

B) Resolve the spats through diplomatic means

C) WAR ASSHOLES!!!

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REFERENDUM B (for the Illiterate):

 

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A)

B)

C)